I finally gave in. I had been trying to get fit by 40 without spending copious amounts of money. This was partly due to the fact that I didn’t want to feed the “diet industry,” and partly due to the fact that I don’t have a lot of money to spend. But, about a week and a half ago, I finally joined a gym.
My decision was spurned by a Facebook friend. She posted something about joining a local gym and getting a discount because she’s a school board employee. It sounded like a pretty good deal – $15 month, and you can workout at any of their locations. Throw into the mix that my best friend works for this company and can train me at any location, and I was sold. I joined on January 31.
Upon joining, they require you to do a fitness evaluation. I kind of dreaded this, as it meant stepping on the scale. As suspected, I had gained more weight than I care to mention. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be, but I’m a lot closer to my heaviest weight than I’d like to be.
I must admit: I’m not convinced I can stick with this. I’m not sure I can do it. I don’t think it’s going to work. I’m feeling fat and don’t have the time or energy to fully embrace this. But if I don’t do this, I’m just going to gain more weight and my health will deteriorate even more. This is something I need to do, even if it’s not something I want to do.
So I’ve done it. I’ve joined a gym. And I’ve worked out three times in the last 6 days. I am trying to be gentle on myself, and not push myself so hard that I end up feeling sore and discouraged. Today, I did 35 minutes on the treadmill, and really worked up a sweat. It wasn’t much, but it’s a start. I did my best without pushing myself toward defeat. I was hoping to do 40 minutes, but my back was starting to bother me, and I decided that, today, 35 minutes was my best.
I am trying hard to focus on this concept of “my best.” My best is different than your best, and it’s different than that skinny 20-something I see running effortlessly (not just walking like I do) on the treadmill. It’s difficult for me to not compare myself for others. I am such a competitive perfectionist: I need to be the best. But I cannot be successful with this endeavor if I’m comparing myself to other women. I need to compare myself to me.
I am looking forward to getting together with my best friend later this week. She is putting together a workout for me and is going to help me reach my goals. I love her dearly, and am going to try to do my best with whatever she puts together for me.